You can’t control love, not even with a disability

by Sara Fulco - 2016.06.06
You can’t control love, not even with a disability
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Hello Sara, I am writing to you because of confusing thoughts and feelings in my head. I'm blind and it has been a long time since I had a boyfriend. There is a boy who's interested in me but he's also blind, and this is putting me off. I'm uncomfortable with the idea of getting together with someone who has the same problems as me. What should I do? Luisa

Dear Luisa, I think the question you should ask yourself is: do I like him or not? Once you have the answer, your attitude will change too. I understand why you are hesitating. The idea of having a relationship with someone with the same problems as you seems like increasing the difficulties you face, because you know about the specific limitations on a daily basis. But, believe me, everyone lives their disability differently. I know blind people who play baseball, go climbing and even scuba diving, where they are able to feel and swim with fish. Then there are those who compete in regattas and go sailing and are far less disabled than they might seem. Even though you have blindness in common, don't see yourself as a reflection of this person; you and he are two different people. Try not to fall victim to the fears that lead to discrimination and make the barriers for people with disabilities difficult to knock out. Sometimes we are the ones who places limits to protect ourselves from what could hurt us. We mustn't be afraid to make mistakes and an old proverb tells us that “you learn by making mistakes”. Try to feel whether time flies and hours seem like minutes when you're with him and whether you feel those famous butterflies in your stomach. This is the only compass that will guide you.

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