The dilemma of online dating with disabilities

by Ivano Abbadessa - 2016.03.04
The dilemma of online dating with disabilities
  • Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Whatsapp
  • Print

If not now, when? This is the dilemma for many people with disabilities who are looking for love online. If you are upfront about your disability, the risk is that no one will contact you. But if you wait too long you could become paranoid about when is the right time to tell the person you've been chatting to, for hours, days or months, about being blind, deaf or in a wheelchair. And then there's the matter of how to handle a possible negative reaction.

I cut my wheelchair out of any photo I put on Tinder, admits a British 19-year-old who has cerebral palsy and epilepsy. “I never get approached in bars when I’m out with friends,” she continues. “I feel as if they look at me and just see the wheelchair. Online, I can speak to them for a day or so before revealing anything.

This sentiment is echoed by Michelle, 26, from Liverpool, who has a noticeable limp. When she first began online dating, she chosen to conceal her true condition and would normally wait at least a week before telling the other person about her disability. But, after one man accused her of lying, Michelle changed her mind. She decided to run the risk of creating a desert around herself and was open about her disability in her profile, despite the findings of a recent survey showing that only five per cent of Britons on dating sites or apps would go on a date with someone with a disability they met online. Most people would openly avoid this situation.

This didn't discourage Andy, a 43-year-old from Manchester who was left paralysed from the chest down after a motorcycle accident. His online profile shows his wheelchair quite clearly, even though he knows that it will keep lots of women away. He says he chose to do this because he wanted to make it clear that he enjoys life. Often he sends a message to users who looks at his profile without contacting him: “Can you be honest, is it because I use a wheelchair?” But that is a question that has so far gone unanswered.

Published in .
  • Now millionaires also number among the immigrants

    That the number of immigrants is growing in relative terms is a given. However, until recently, we did not know that this growth also extended to the high earners of the world. A new trend analysed and described in the recent brilliant paper “Millionaire Emigration” by the Migration Policy Institute Read More.

  • The dream of many immigrants in Libya is not Europe

    In the army of immigrants blocked by Libyans, there is a component that few know of and no-one speaks about. Consisting of those who don’t dream of Europe and dream only of returning home but don’t have the means to do so. They number thousands, coming for the most part Read More.

  • Trump offers no concessions, not even to refugees

    A few days ago, it was an easy guess that President Trump would make cuts on the annual quota of future refugees to be welcomed into America. In the last few hours, in fact, reliable American press sources have confirmed that in a meeting at the end of last week, Read More.

  • Illegal immigrant traffickers now set their sights on the Black Sea

    After the closure of the Balkan and Libyan routes, that of the Black Sea is opened. On the rise, in fact, is the number of foreigners who embark at Turkey to reach Romania via sea. These numbered 3,000 at the beginning of 2017 compared to 1,624 in 2016. Mostly Iraqis, Read More.

  • Schengen hardened but economic immigration opened

    In Europe, a new wind is blowing with respect to immigration. Reading the document released yesterday by the European Commission we discover that, for the first time after many years, more is being done than patching up the holes at the last minute. The Commission is looking ahead with a Read More.

  • After Brexit and Trump the left behinds shake up Germany

    After the victory in England of Brexit and the landslide of Trump in the United States, the shakeup of the recent elections in Germany confirms that in the leading companies of the industrial West that which Ronald Inghelart and Pippa Norris have brilliantly defined as a “silent revolution on the Read More.